


why won't you love me

by ryujinies



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Break Up Talk, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Nostalgia, Roommates, Sad, Short, ryeji - Freeform, ryujin travels a lot, yeji is sad and misses her gf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 08:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21096314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryujinies/pseuds/ryujinies
Summary: in which ryujin travels too much for work and it drives yeji crazy.





	why won't you love me

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by why won't you love me by 5 Seconds of Summer.  
First fic, kinda nervous.  
My twitter is faeryujins if you wanna follow me!

It’s not that Ryujin and Yeji were having problems; ‘problems’ wouldn’t be the right word for what was wrong. But something was wrong. Neither of the girls could pinpoint when or how or why their love had faded.

Ryujin felt it right after she had shifted her phone into airplane mode for the second time that month. An uneasiness spread over her body as Yeji’s words rang clear in her head.

“_It’s fine, just go. I’m late for work_.” Then a single beep, signaling the call had ended before Ryujin could even utter, “I love you.”

Yeji’s words felt cold as glass, something Ryujin had never experienced outside of a fight. Was this a fight?

She knew the traveling drove them both up the wall, but they had never fought about it. She had always assumed it was mutually understood that this was something Ryujin had to do to be successful, so they could build a comfortable life together. Though calling Yeji from the airport to let her know that she was leaving probably warranted a fight.

It was almost hard for Ryujin to believe that her girlfriend was mad at her though because just the night before, they were sitting across from each other at some random restaurant they had found last minute. Ryujin had just gotten back from a trip a week prior and the two girls were soaking in all of the time they had with each other, not knowing it would end so soon.

Yeji suddenly grabbed the younger girl’s hand as the waiter took away their entreés, nearly knocking over the candle in the middle of the table.

“Woah,” Ryujin said, balancing the candle with her free hand, “You nearly took the candle out of our candlelit dinner.”

Yeji smiled faintly, but her eye contact with Ryujin was unwavering. Ryujin could see now that tears had built up in the older girl’s eyes. She placed her other hand over Yeji’s, “What’s wrong, my love?”

Yeji hesitated before answering, “I love you so much. I think I say it so much that perhaps it’s lost its meaning, but I don’t mean it any less now than I did when I first said it two years ago. I love you, Shin Ryujin.”

Now, Ryujin clicked on her home button as she settled into her seat on the plane, Yeji’s face beamed back at her and for a second, everything settled. She told herself that everything was going to be okay. It wasn’t, but she would just have to pretend.

It had started for Yeji months ago when the traveling first began. Being away from Ryujin hurt more than she thought it would, it felt chaotic and, frankly, unnatural.

Before anything, the girls were roommates. Yeji was desperate for someone to foot the rent and Ryujin was desperate to get out of her house, it was a perfect match. The two didn’t exactly click instantly, Ryujin was always more reserved and didn’t talk much to Yeji, which the older girl didn’t mind much at first.

But then sometimes, almost out of nowhere, Ryujin would say the funniest things and it left Yeji wanting more. She craved conversation with her roommate, finding any chance to talk to Ryujin about literally anything. Everything about the girl was charming to Yeji once she got to know her—the way she’d leave little sticky note reminders for Yeji to “have a good day!” or how she’d pick on the older girl relentlessly knowing Yeji secretly liked it.

The two had grown so close that Yeji didn’t like the feeling of not having her there. The flat felt empty, the space on their bed so hollow where Ryujin usually filled. On the nights where she felt especially lonely, she would close her eyes and bring herself back to mid-July.

Ever since she was a child, she had hated the monsoons that would come with Summer and that summer was no different. Yeji sat in her room shaking as the rain poured down, eyes closed and arms wrapped around herself wishing for the rain to stop.

It was only a few minutes before Yeji’s door opened and in walked Ryujin, a fuzzy blanket wrapped around her body. She walked over to Yeji’s bed, crawled on top and wrapped the blanket around both of them.

Yeji couldn’t remember them ever being as close as they were then. But Ryujin smelled like maple syrup and she found herself sinking into it. 

“You remembered?” Yeji whispered, snuggling into Ryujin’s side. She tried to sound unphased by the act, but the other girl’s touch had calmed her significantly. She remembered telling Ryujin about her fear many moons ago when they were still getting to know each other. Ryujin had said she would be there to help her through it. Yeji just didn’t know she had meant it.

The rushing of water outside did not seem as scary as it did just moments ago.

“Do you want some tea?” Ryujin whispered, moving toward the door.

“No,” Yeji said quickly, tugging on Ryujin’s shirt, “Just stay with me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Ryujin eased herself back onto the bed and as the two girls cuddled into each other, Ryujin ran her fingers through Yeji’s hair.

The act, though simple, was new for the pair. They had never been so touchy with each other, always leaving a respectable amount of room between each other. But at that moment, all Yeji had wanted was to be as close to her roommate as possible. 

She tangled their legs together and felt Ryujin still next to her.

“Are you cold?” She had asked to which Yeji simply replied, “No.”

Ryujin didn’t move away. Another moment passed before Ryujin’s fingertips found Yeji’s jawline, tracing lightly over it. Her eyes flickered up to Yeji’s, as if she had just remembered _who_ was in front of her. 

“Is this okay?” Ryujin whispered, eyeing Yeji’s lips cautiously. Yeji’s heart had jumped at the words. She didn’t know when things had shifted between them, but she found herself leaning further into Ryujin over the months. Shy hands and coy glances building up to that moment where Yeji closed the gap between their lips.

It was a soft kiss, one Yeji had unknowingly been holding in for months now. Their hands were unsure of what to do, but their mouths moved in perfect rhythm with each other. When they pulled away, neither could stop smiling or giggling. “What took you so long?”

A few tears slipped from Yeji’s eyes as she remembered the moment, missing her girlfriend now more than ever. Ryujin not being there felt like the ground had disappeared right before her. It felt lonely, but mostly it felt wrong.

She tried to stop the tears from rolling down, but the pain became almost unbearable. Without even thinking about it really, she called her.

Ryujin didn’t see the missed call until she woke up in New York and by the time she tried to call back, it was already 2 am in Seoul. The week away continued like that. Missed calls and time zone differences keeping the two girls from talking to each other. While Ryujin would sleep 11,000 kilometers away, Yeji would go to work, hang out with friends, try to live her life as she would if Ryujin was there because that’s the thing about time and distance. It doesn’t fucking matter because life moves on.

When Ryujin came home the first thing Yeji said to her was: “Lia and Chaeryeong are engaged.”

“O-oh?” The pink-haired girl stuttered, placing her bag onto the hardwood floor of their apartment floor. She could tell this conversation wasn’t going well already, but she tried to lighten the mood with a joke. “Well, that’s very gay of them.”

Despite the joke being borderline amusing, Yeji scoffed, unable to believe how the younger girl couldn’t see what was wrong with that. “Can’t you be serious for one goddamn minute, Ryujin?”

The tone of her girlfriend's voice had caught Ryujin off guard, mostly because she had just gotten off a 14-hour flight after a week of missed calls with the one person she wanted to talk to the most and now she was being yelled at because two of their friends were getting married. To say the least, she wasn’t following the point of this argument. “What do you want from me, Yeji? I just got home and the first thing you want to do is fight?”

“Can’t you see that’s the problem? You _just_ got home. You’re always _just_ getting home, Ryujin.” Although calm as ever, Yeji’s voice quivered as she said the next part. “Something needs to change.”

“You were the one who pushed me to pursue dancing and now you want me to give it up? I don’t get it,” Ryujin said, her voice slightly raised. Ryujin was actually pretty quick to anger usually, but with Yeji she had always tried to be a little more understanding, listen a little more, be a little more patient because Yeji was her everything, she’d never run the risk of losing her over a dumb fight. But now, Ryujin was confused; this hurt clouded her judgment. She had finally landed a job doing what she loved to do, a job Yeji had pushed her to go after for almost a year, but now it was too much?

“No, but I can’t keep waiting for you,” Yeji responded as tears fell from her eyes, “Something needs to change.”

For the first time, Ryujin realized that the “something” wasn’t necessarily her job, and at that, she broke.


End file.
